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The Bridge
| Source: Good News Magazine |
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A real life testimony
It’s not easy to commit suicide. And often it is very difficult to make the final decision to do so. I had it so well planned and thought out, that I did not expect to fail miserably. I had finally decided to take the plunge because I knew I would never be able to pluck up the courage to do so again if I failed. I stood on the edge of the bridge and I glanced for one last time toward the road. There was no one following me, or it seemed not a soul in sight. But at the last moment, a strong and firm hand enclosed mine, keeping my feet firmly on the bridge, despite my verbal and violent protestations.
My drama started at the tender age of seventeen years when I went to Budapest to work. Initially I found work as a housemaid, and later I improved my financial situation by working in manufacturing. It was then that I met a policeman who asked me to marry him some time after. However, when he discovered that I came from a poor family and from humble beginnings, he decided to abruptly end our relationship. As a result I was very deeply hurt. Nobody could help me not because of my broken dreams, but because of the lies and hypocrisy of people and the way they would shamelessly take advantage of you.
I tried to comfort myself and find some sort of solace in keeping very active and in making money. I became a nurse hoping that by immersing myself in my work I would somehow forget my pain and sorrow. Unfortunately even here I came across the same filth, the same deceitful glances and the ever-present reality of greed and corruption. Everything that I heard and saw instilled in me bitter disappointment and an overwhelming repulsion for life.
This is how I finally found myself standing at the edge of the bridge… but also standing and waiting at the edge of the bridge was God and his love for me.
The gentleman who was discreetly following me –he later explained himself that he could see I was agitated and my movements suspicious—spoke to me with such warmth and gentleness and encouraged me to open up and express what was burdening me to the point of self destruction. Even though I generally harboured hate for people and was always suspicious of their motives, I opened up and poured out all that was on my heart. His appearance and gentle manner was what encouraged me to do so. He appeared to be genuinely concerned for me.
Now I live my life rejoicing in the faith I have in God through the salvation offered to me by Jesus Christ. I pass the bridge with my husband and my beautiful children that God has blessed me with and remember the most significant turning point in my life. God was waiting for me at that bridge so he could fill my soul with life, with joy, and with warmth. I now live my life under the loving care and protection of God. His love has filled my heart with gladness, and the promise of eternal life in heaven with my Saviour has given my life purpose and meaning.
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"And you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free."
John 8:32 |
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I will place no value on anything I have or may possess except in relation to the kingdom of Christ.